The Job I Was Never Going Back To

As most of you know I have worked in EMS since I was 18 years old. I spent 4 years working as an EMT and 9 years as a Paramedic. The last 2 years I have been off car and I became a stay at home mom. Needless to say it was a HUGE transition, but so so so necessary. Becoming a mom was my ‘out’ from EMS, or so I thought….

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Everything changes when you become a mom. I know you hear it time and time again, but it is so very true. For me, becoming a mom and distancing from the sick world of EMS totally changed my entire being. I started to develop feelings, I started to actually care about people, and I started to relax. I can honestly say the last 2 years have been stress free even with everything we have been through with Jaxson.

The longer I stayed out of EMS the more I grew terrified of going back. The thought of bringing my job, a bad call, or stress from the general crap we put up with – home to my child at the end of a shift was all it took to convince me I was done with being on car forever. I was comfortable and at peace with my decision.

Mid June I got a phone call from my old company I worked with when we lived up north (High Level), I was offered a couple weeks of work to fill in for vacancies. It took me about 10 seconds to reply with a ‘yes’ and 10.2 second for fear and nervousness to sink in. I almost instantly regretted my decision but decided tough it out because the money was so good.

The weeks of worry and nervousness leading up to going totally melted away the second I opened up my books to study. Being out of a job like EMS for 2 years is pretty much an eternity. I was sure that I would have no idea what I was doing and that thought alone was terrifying. I soon realized that it’s like riding a bike. All the knowledge and skills were just stored away in the back of my brain. As soon as I started reviewing, everything came flooding to the front, and I felt as if I just graduated paramedic school.

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I was so fortunate that Alex and Jaxson were able to come to High Level with me. That alone was a huge relief as I have never even spent a single night away from Jaxson, pretty sure an entire week would have killed me! Alex and Jax spent their days in High Level visiting friends and chilling at base when we weren’t on calls or flights.

The first day I felt like a fish in very shallow water. It was hard because I had forgotten the small logistical things about the company and that was super frustrating for me. Not to mention they switched from paper charting to an ePCR system while I was away, so that in itself felt a little overwhelming to learn. Despite the things I had forgotten I had remembered some of the craziest small things like codes to the safe or station codes for our paperwork, which totally surprised me.

By day 2 it felt like I had never been gone, let alone taken a 2 year break! It helped that I was working with old colleagues that I totally trust and respect. They were all super patient with me when I bothered them about the dumbest thing for the millionth time.

Overall the week was a total success. I can honestly say I loved every second of being back in it, having the uniform on, going on flights and calls, and feeling like I was using my brain again. Would I ever go back into EMS full time? HELL NO! Would I ever go back into EMS on a semi regular basis? HELL NO! The thing that made my week of work so amazing was the fact that it was 1 WEEK OF WORK. There was no going back after. There was no getting involved or dragged into drama. There was no stress about logistical decisions made by others. There was no anger about being run off my feet (which I never was). BECAUSE IT WAS ONE SINGLE WEEK. At the end of the week I was going home to resume my life as a stay at home mom and a small home business owner. I didn’t care about anything other than patient care and it felt amazing! I will definitely be throwing that uniform on again in the future and going back north to work for a week and make some extra money. Maybe in a few months 🙂

Another thing that made the week so awesome was that we were back north, in the small northern town we called home for 3 years. We spent a solid week with our friends, drinking coffee at our old stompin’ grounds, visiting the small gift shops in the town, and eating at all the places we frequented so often when we lived there. Not to mention the weather was absolutely gorgeous, as it always is in summer in the north.

It was a wonderful week but we are happy to be home and settled back into our normal.

Let mom life resume!

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