The long awaited blog post is finally here! So many of you guys, along with Alex have literally been harassing be to write Niko’s adoption story, so here it is….
As most of you remember this time last year we were in the middle of a long preparation to bring a little boy into our family. After 3 months of hard emotionally draining work, preparation, communication and arrangements the adoption fell through for various reasons. I would be lying if I said this situation didn’t leave a bitter taste in our mouths. It was a hard few months to have ended how it did. We are firm believers in ‘things happen for a reason’ but we were tired and done. We needed a break from all things ‘adoption’.
A friend was over a couple months after this all happened and she asked what we were going to do with the second crib in Jaxson’s room. I guess I never really had given it much thought, but it felt so right to just keep it as is. Deep down we both knew it needed to stay for some reason or another. Besides, it honestly completes the room and I love how it looks with the 2 matching cribs. So the room stayed as it was, ready for anything….
Once summer was over we decided we were ready. Ready to jump back in to the adoption game. Ready to put our family profile book together and put ourselves out there. Keep in mind this was the first profile book we’ve had to make. We weren’t even on ‘the list’ with Jaxson’s adoption, or with the adoption that fell through, so this was all uncharted territory for us.
This adoption we said we were open to both typical and Down syndrome, but our hearts were definitely sent on another kiddo with Ds. Over the last few months we have talked a lot about how we think our second adoption would play out. We knew that it would more than likely be a pretty immediate placement again. We talked about what our ideal birth parent situation would be. We had so many grand ideas and scenarios that we would love to have happen the second time around.
But over this ‘waiting period’ we went on with our everyday lives. We would bring up adoption from time to time but honestly didn’t give it much thought. Life is busy and it definitely wasn’t something that we would think about on a daily basis.
Until it happens…. then it happens fast! For us anyways.
January 15, the day Jaxson had surgery to have his tonsils and adenoids removed, and get another set of ear tubes, we got the email. We’ve gotten a couple very similar emails over the last year from our adoption agency. A vague email saying there is a ‘maybe situation’, a couple vague details, and that they were meeting with the birthparents a couple days later and showing our family profile book. Given the stressful day with Jax having surgery we completely forgot all about the email till the next day!
Well low and behold 2 days later our phone was ringing with the social worker on the other end. She had just met with the birthparents and they wanted to meet us!! Ok, now shit just got real! We had to stay in Calgary for the week while Jaxson recovered in case there was post op bleeding, so we were stuck in the city. We were quite shocked to hear that the birthparents were willing to come to us to meet. Well that sounds promising! So a meeting was arranged for 3 days later.
Those had to be the longest, most anxious 3 days ever. Having a toddler recovering from surgery was actually a great distraction. The wait was literally killing us. We honestly didn’t know much about anything at this point. We didn’t know if the birthparents were meeting other families, or how serious they were about us. We had so many questions but next to no answers.
Finally the day of the meeting arrived and it seemed like time was at a standstill. The minutes leading up to it seemed like hours. We just wanted to go and get on with it. As you can imagine these meetings are super awkward, especially the first 10 or so minutes until the ice is broken. Both parties are super nervous, emotional, and it’s just plain weird. This was our third ‘birthparent meeting’ and I can honestly say it was the hardest one to go in to. Maybe because the anticipation was just so heightened with the 3 day wait. But the meeting went amazing. Nothing felt forced or awkward. We instantly connected with these birthparents and felt very much at ease. We left the meeting with plans to continue the adoption process of this gorgeous little boy who’s name we now knew was Niko.
The next week and a half was a complete whirlwind. We were making plans with Niko’s birthparents for a date to go to Edmonton to pick him up. Niko was still in the NICU but was ready to go home any day. Once the final dates were decided upon and some of the legalities were taken care of we went in to complete nesting (or panic) mode! This was really happening and we had 10 days to prepare! I spent the next week getting everything ready. Washing baby clothes, getting all of our baby stuff out, and tying to mentally prepare for a new addition.
The mental preparation was the most stressful part. For 3 and a half years it’s been just the 3 of us. We were perfect. Literally perfect. Of course we were super excited but we were also scared, nervous, anxious, and a little part of me was honestly a bit sad that the days of the ‘3’ were going to be over. It was all happening so quick and that gave us very little time to prep Jaxson as well, which added to my stress (but thats for another blog post!).
But ready or not the 10 days flew by and it was time to go meet our new son and Jaxson’s baby brother. We arrived in Edmonton around dinner time and drove straight to the hospital as we could wait no longer. We met Niko’s birthmom in the hallway and she took us to the NICU to introduce us to our new boy. We nervously walked in and found the cutest, tiniest (but he wasn’t so tiny) little baby boy laying in his bassinet. We wanted to stay forever but weren’t able to spend too much time with him that evening as we had to get Jaxson to bed.
The following day was spent at the hospital getting to know Niko, his feeding routines and how he operates. It was a very long day especially since we had Jaxson. But in true Jaxson form he was amazing! I think he watched Trolls 5 times that day, but he was happy! The day was stressful because there was so much going on. We were focused on learning Niko but also making sure Jaxson’s needs were met.
It was an emotionally charged day. It was a heartbreaking day. And at the end of it all I laid my head on the pillow and cried and cried as Jax and Alex were fast asleep. I watched a mother say goodbye to her baby and my heart felt shattered. That day I gained a son and I was going to bed heartbroken, and sad. (again this is for another post!).
The following day we woke up bright and early, packed up our hotel room and headed to the hospital. Niko was ready to go!!! on February 1 we loaded up the truck with our 2 sons and made the trek home.
We have been home now for almost a month and it has been crazy! I have so many thoughts and feelings about it to share, but I do need to say going from 1 to 2 kids has been a huge adjustment! We are finally settled into life as a family of 4 and we now couldn’t imagine it any other way. Niko is one amazing little guy! He’s happy, and content, until he’s not, then he makes it known! He’s a great sleeper (thank you baby jesus!), and has brought so much joy into our already happy family. Jaxson is completely head over heals in love with his baby brother and has been the most well adjusted out of any of us, lol!
As for any of the other details about Niko’s adoption story, those aren’t for us to share. But know that he came from a place of nothing but love to another place with lots and lots of love ❤